That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
