Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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