called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
