go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
