sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
