im gay
i know
yea but for you.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
