I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
