either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
