just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
