Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
