I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That accounts for only three of the penises
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
