First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
