i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
