She's JV to your varsity
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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