new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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