Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
