if you like me you must not know who I am
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
this is an emotional support booty call
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
