Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i already hear my dad disowning me
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Found the puke drawer
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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