singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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