I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
