hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
