I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
