He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
