and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize