if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
