Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
