covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
