he wants to bone in the snuggie
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
