i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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