If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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