I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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