I want to have your abortion
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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