Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
