Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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