thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
