ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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