then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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