dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
