Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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