Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
