either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
