so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
