I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
