I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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