Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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