She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize