i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I touched a dick in church today
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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