YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
