i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
