I look better un-naked...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
