I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize