her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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