I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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