I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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