Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

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(303): View more from Colorado

hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!

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(208): View more from Idaho

No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.

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(224): View more from Illinois

I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."

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(416): View more from Toronto

I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio

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(530): View more from California

My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!

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(843): View more from South Carolina

It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!

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