I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize