Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize