So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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