my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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