forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
