I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
